I'm probably the best wife/mother; I shower and get my make up on everyday, follow every rule I had made about parenting before I had kids, get the laundry done, work out, and have dinner on the table every day....
NOT!!!!
I wish I could say I looked and felt like that every day, but lately it feels as though I look and feel like the cartoon below.
This post was inspired by a friends post confessing the things she thought she'd never do. This post is similar, mostly just venting about the days you feel extremely inadequate and like you've done nothing productive and everything wrong.
1.) Thought I would be able to train Talia to sleep through the night by 3-4 months... she's 7 and it's not happening. Why don't kids sleep through the night from day one? Talia's been sick for almost two weeks with a wicked cold/ cough. She's waking up twice a night and usually I let her whine/ cry for an hour and a half. I don't feel but I do need to give her a drink of water to soothe her throat. OK I understand she's sick so I guess here's to hoping once this cough goes away we both can get some sleep and work on sleeping through the night. Sometimes I think is there anything else I can do to help her sleep through the night? I have done something wrong to make her still need to feed through the night?
2.) I swore I would never feed my kid from my plate, especially while we're not at the dinner table... well I sucked at following that rule. Apparently now every time I eat Talia thinks she deserves a taste or two. I'm going to have to work on that one, I hate beggers and I produced one. Well I guess she's not at the begging age, but she sure does stare at you and whine a little if you have food. That's going to have to stop.
3.) Said I wouldn't have a needed child. Well with just one it's hard not to play with or hold her right? Maybe it's been worse since she's been sick. Again here's to hoping.
4.) Would have a clean house!!!! Not saying my house is messy, because usually I do keep it pretty tidy but like a pile of papers set me off. I hate clutter. I've realized since I've had Talia clutter makes me a little stressed and nuts and there's some days I just can't force myself to get to the cleaning or am just to tired. I guess I'm going to have to learn to deal with my anxiety of clutter or force myself to get in gear.
5.) This is one of my most hated things I've failed to do.... lose weight!!! I've lost almost 50 pounds (2 pounds short of 50) since Talia. Most people would be thrilled, but I still have a few to go. I've been less than motivated to work out everyday and eat proper. I blame it on sleep deprivation (sounding more and more like an excuse), but I would just rather take a nap especially from weeks like this!!!! I swore I would lose it in 2-3 months. Go to the gym 3-4 times a week. A few of my excuses... Talia not taking a bottle (not being able to leave her for more than 3 hours, stressing about leaving her at a gym... which now I can because she takes baby food so I guess no more excuses!) Anyways for sure 10 pounds to go and would like another 5. Just need to be motivated, or maybe I just need to get more sleep!!!!!!!!!
6.) That leads me into my other confession... to not gain more than 25 pounds in my pregnancy HA! Need I say more. Yes I did have 25- 30 pounds of fluid retention... but really 60 pounds?
7.) Being the wife who has things cleaned up, laundry done, and dinner on the table and showered. I was going to say make up on but that's never been my expectation so why start now? But I really did have this expectation and I've been less than impressive with meeting it.
It's crazy how many expectations you have before you have a kid, and then when you have a kid you hear so many moms either talk about great things are going or how they're not and it's hard not to measure up to others. You have mothers and mother-in-laws who have been around the block a few times and could ALWAYS do it better and again it's hard not to feel inadequate. I guess there has to come a point when YOU just give in and say I've done my best today and tomorrow is another day. With all the ups and downs of parenting... well lets be honest being a mom you have to find a way to be proud of what you've accomplished even if all you did was keep your baby fed and happy that day. It would be nice for husbands, friends, family, whoever to say you did great today (even though it wasn't your best), but in the end I need to be happy with what I'VE accomplished. All I can say is being a mom is the most rewarding and emotional job I've had so far.
* please don't think I'm going crazy or anything... just having one of those weeks and I'm sure there will be plenty more of them to come*
5 comments:
You're definitely not alone in this. I've been leaving my house without make-up on and in sweat pants (something I said I'd never do). At least we have the mommy excuse, right?
I think you're doing a fabulous job with Talia, she's such a cutie, and she's so well mannered. You're a great mom. Just think if she was with someone else right now, it wouldn't work! You're her Mommy, and a good one too!!
I know you're not going crazy. I was thinking this exact thing when Milo was really sick 3 weeks ago, so don't worry... it'll pass (until something else happens that makes you go insane!).
I think you summed up perfectly how most Mom's feel!!! I think you just learn to let things go and not stress about the not so important things after a while.......really you want to look back and know that your attention was on your baby and what she is doing and learning and not on ensuring you look perfect and have a perfect home. As for the weight loss, James is almost 17 months now and just starting to sleep more consistantly through the night (which make a world of difference to my energy), now that I feel a bit more normal I have finally been able to lose the last 5 pounds that were lingering. It all comes with time :) You are doing an amazing job!
A wise person once said..."Lower your expectations and you'll never be disappointed..." Exactly. You just do what you can Kams. Every day that is different. You are you, not someone else, so you can't compare (ALTHOUGH WE ALL DO IT) So dumb. :) Anyway, I promise when the weather is better and your baby is out from under it...(get it...under the weather...good one) then you will feel like a totally different person. Cabin fever I tell you. CABIN FEVER. AH!
Sorry Talia's sick. That always makes it rougher. Sad as it sounds, I blame the weather a lot for my moods. If we can't get outside I go NUTS! Like Amelia said "CABIN FEVER""! and it's brutal. you're doing a great job. But take comfort in the fact that you're not alone!!!
Don't feel bad about Talia not sleeping through the night, I think its rare that kids sleep through the night before 10 months, Avery was a consistant sleeper through the night at 11 months, some moms "say" there kids sleep through the night at 4-6 months, but I just think there full of crap! haha, "sleep through the night" is usually midnight till 6-7am, PLEAAAASE! That is not sleeping through the night, just be consistant and keep a schedule and it will happen! And your life will be yours again!
And your doing a great job, just keep trying your best, thats all you can do. And stop having expectations, cause it never happens the way you plan! haha, just try and roll with the punches. Talia is a great baby and very well behaved, so just be greatful your first is such a sweetie pie!
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