Girls week + Beck

Well my girls week may not be what you think.  After the baby blessing Cynthia kindly accepted our "offer" of taking Jace for the week. Yep we offered him up for the week.

Jace has been dying to go to Cardston for more than just a weekend trip. The boy loves Cardston. Benson his cousin just 8 months younger than him was going because his Mom, Leslie was going to Toronto with the triplets, and Richard had residency to finish up. So it worked out that Benson was going to be there and Jace and Benson are best buds. Also Jace has struggled to find some extra attention since Beck was born AND he really needed something that was just special for him. It was just perfect and I am so grateful they took him.

I wish I had pictures of the week, I know my sister in law Amelia had them over to play at their house with their cousin Addie, Cynthia took them on walks to the park, took them to the dollar store (Jace picked out construction trucks of course), set up a pool in the backyard, played with endless lego, and took them to Waterton. He love it and only got home sick once because he was WAY over tired. Played hard all day and slept hard all night.

It was nice because I feel like I've been stretched thin for giving my attention especially with the eat, play, sleep scheduling for Beck that I don't have tons of one on one time. So this week I vowed that every time Penny and Beck napped (if I scheduled it right, which usually I can) I would spend time with Talia. So we painted our nails, well she painted mine, we read some books, colored (which is actually pretty fun as an adult), read in the friend, and the big one she learned how to ride a two wheeler!!! It took patience... lots of it!

Poor Talia has a lot of anxiety I think she inherited from me. Must have a genetic component. She hates to fail and almost doesn't want to try incase she fails. So sad. She was so worried if she didn't get it off the bat she would disappoint us. She kept saying are you disappointed?  Also she is anxious because she hates getting hurt and had a fear of falling. Put those two together, you can imagine the tears that came along with learning. The first day was what I thought it'd be... A disaster. The next day was better, less tears and more confidence. The next day I picked up a tiny bike for her to get more of a feel, and after riding that twice and LOTS of praise we got her on her bike and she did it.

It was neat seeing confidence build and her knowing how proud I was of her, she just got so proud of herself. Her eyes lit up and she just kept saying I knew I could do it. I'll never forget the smile she had when she just did it. Not going to lie I felt accomplished as she conquered her fears and accomplished this. We did it!

Penny learned to ride a quad... kidding. Think I need to get her a strider bike.

This form of wheels can be really annoying for her and I. She wants to keep up and I want her to keep up. This does not cut it... but for the cul de sac it will do.

So Penny and Talia don't fight as much. Not because Jace is the common denominator but because he's the one closest in age to them. Penny and Talia are 3.5 years apart, so Talia views penny as a baby, where Jace is more a play mate to both of them... more like "frienemies". So they will play more with Jace but they will also do the normal but annoying bickering. So it was a peaceful week. I feel bad saying that because I adore Jace and he's my softy, but just having well a bigger age gap I can see they fight less... at least while they're young. Talia is just more patient with our diva Penny. She kind of things she rules the house.

So we picked up Jace in Cardston Friday and stayed the weekend for Jason's brother Dallin's mission home coming. We stayed at Justin and Amelia's. It was a great weekend. 2 great weekends in a row and really Jace had 9 days of fun in a row.

So now we are back to real life. I'm feeling some guilt now. I'm playing catch up to laundry, planning my RS lesson for the 21st, and just completing whatever is on my list that I put off so I could just focus on Talia and Penny (Beck as well, but he's easy). So now the kids are asking me every second, can we do this? Can I go to the park? Can we bike ride? And yes all those things are great but I just needed a couple days to get caught up, organized and get Beck back on schedule from being held and off schedule all weekend. Also I just needed an afternoon to myself while the kids played together without me.

 I hate hearing "she say no again" or "we never do this..." and gasp I yelled again. I honestly didn't loose my patience last week. I feel bad, guilty...like I can't do it all or something adventurous every day and I feel my kids suffer from my inability to be "supermom". I also know this is silly because my kids have a good life, guess I just need to have a thicker skin and also have more patience. I feel more guilty when I loose my patience.

 Having a new born is hard but also we want a big family so that's what comes a long with having newborns. Sometimes you just cant do it all. I will do fun stuff with them and I hope I can still be their fun mom... I just feel like I'm loosing my "fun" mom abilities the more kids I have.

So many mixed emotions. I love them to pieces and I want to spend time with them all the time so they can feel my love for them and I also want to take them places, just simple places like the park or other fun places in Edmonton, BUT I also find there's not enough hours in the day especially when you have a 6 week old.

I think some of this will be solved when Talia is done kindergarten. I can plan more. Kindergarten is not long enough to go out far with the other kids. Need to be back to pick up Talia and then Penny needs a nap by 1 30. When Talia is done I will be able to plan better go out for the morning & early afternoon, like the zoo, a bike ride or park in the morning and then let the littles nap in the afternoon. This way the older two wont feel jipped and I will have my afternoons. Only 7 days left of school Yay!!!