Better

Just a quick note about my parenting 101 post. Life has been way better. Talia popped out two teeth last week (one molar still to come) and we've been out on play dates, been outside, and having fun. Jace is more interactive and Talia loves to entertain him.
I guess with kids you just take situations as they come and do your best. Joy in the journey and that's what I'm doing!

My parents...

I just got this picture sent to me today and I love it. I can't stop looking at my mom, I just love her smile. So sincere and loving. She just loves her grand kids and you can tell. This is probably one of my favorite photos. So this photo prompted this post.



My kids have the BEST Grandparents on both sides, the Lows and Pizzeys.  Jason's parents just live farther away so they aren't able to see them as much. But Talia is getting to know the Lows better and better every time and she loves them both. Good thing it's just Cardston though, if it was any further Talia would see them less and it would take way longer for her to warm up to them. I'm glad they travel up as much as they can.

My mom, Nana, is always good to watch her grand kids whenever her kids need it. She bends over backwards to try and help out. She doesn't make you feel bad or put pressure on you to have perfect kids. In fact she'll defend them even when they don't deserve defending. She remembers what it's like to be a mom with small kids. She really will try to drop whatever she has to help out, even when I ask her to help clean my house.

My Dad, Papa, loves to have fun. He has all the new technology and loves to share with the kids. He doesn't treat them as if they're going to break. He's like a big kid, always fun! Sometimes Jason gets a little worried seeing how high he'll throw Talia on the bed or how "rough" play can get. I like it because that's how it was when I was little. We would wrestle and do all sorts of stuff. He has the coolest toys to play with and even still plays like a little kid.

It's fun to go and play at Nana and Grandpas. Sometimes on a Saturday Jason and I will think 'what should we do today as a family' and even if my parents aren't home we go and play at their house. Sunday dinners are so much fun. Great dinner (seriously my mom is the best cook!) and family. It's such a nice break for us (my mom does all the dinner so it's not a massive break for her so thank you!). Thanks for being awesome parents and grandparents.

Random but recent stuff

Tonight we went to my parents with my Breanne, Jordan, and Avery. Talia and Avery just love each other. It's so fun to see them play now. Talia's finally getting to the age where she plays and understands how to play with people. She is shy but Avery has won her heart over. It's good because Talia is Avery's ONLY cousin (minus Jace). I'm so glad Breanne and I had girls close.

Sweet car my parents got from a friend. It was cute seeing them drive together.

I love Talia's face in this one. Seems like she's the boy in this relationship driving Avery around. But I guess you can't be the "man" in the relationship when your legs don't reach gas peddle. Avery had to press the peddle.

So cool with her leg hanging out.

This picture cracks me up. I love having them close. I dressed them up in the matching Joe sleepers (MY FAVORITE sleepers), and well Talia doesn't take a soother but she plays with one now that Jace takes one so I made her put one in for the photo. Both with crazy hair! fun!

I forgot how fast kids learn how to do things and change. Jace is already out of his 3-6 month sleepers and he's starting to grab things intentionally. They grow so fast. Maybe I forgot this because Talia really didn't grow or change much (looks wise).

Parenting 101 or Parenting 401?

So I have many thoughts that I want to express but I'm not sure how well organized there are so bare with me.

As Talia gets older I'm recognizing things I would have done different. I'm aware of some of things I would do different and other things I'm not even sure of what I did that caused some of Talia's behaviors. Don't get me wrong she's actually a really good kid. She listens well (except she's discovered how to use the word no but I usually can correct her to saying "no tank-you"), she's eating pretty good, she's super nice and caring towards Jace, and developing the way she's supposed to EXCEPT for this mild separation anxiety and not the greatest independent playing skills. She will play on her own but not for long (especially without the tv on).

There's so many opinions and books out there regarding these issues and a lot of the books have great points but are they practical and are they written by moms? I'm having problems with Talia wanting to go to certain things. Her separation anxiety only comes out when we're in big groups where there is chaos or where she is really unfamiliar with the setting. I know many kids experience this and I hear they eventually grow out of it, I'm just not sure how to deal with it. I have been trying to make more opportunities where we're separated or where we're around other kids. So this means more play dates and toddler community programs. I wish I could find a permanent once a week sitter where I could bring her... I'm just not sure where I could find one. Nursery is awful. I'm trying to work with the leaders to help find someone to take her under their wing and basically be with her until she gets more adjusted. I've tried 3 weeks leaving her (she cried the whole time) and 3 weeks staying. I'm not convinced either was great, but I'm hoping with a leader there to hold her and be nurturing she will get better with it. Again it's a big group with sometimes more aggressive kids (I know Talia could toughen up but some kids are just mean!). It's uncomfortable for her but hopefully soon it will be more comfortable.

So for separation anxiety the books talk about exposer therapy, positive reinforcement, and when separations happen making it seem like it's no big deal. We'll see if I can improve on this which will hopefully improve Talia's problem with big groups and nursery. Other than big groups and nursery she loves "flirting" and playing with others.

Now for my (in my opinion bigger) issue. I feel like Talia never wants to play on her own. Maybe I didn't promote independent playing early on. I know I've been bad at cleaning the house or working out while she was awake. I would mostly do it while she was sleeping so while she was awake I could play with her or be around. Bad idea? I'm not sure. Maybe if I would have done more of my independent tasks she would have been forced to play on her own... but on the other hand I don't want to be the mom that she only remembers for doing her own things and never being emotionally attached to her kids. I want to be remembered doing fun things with them. I guess I need to have more a balance.

Now I've been reading this book and hopefully it helps but it talks about helping them out by playing with them and then slowly excusing yourself for a couple minutes at a time and slowly they'll be able to continue playing on their own. I hope I can do this because honestly right now I have Talia sitting by me watching TV so I can write this.  Lame but I wanted to get some opinions. I will let you know we have cut back on TV a lot and I'm hoping this will promote her playing with her toys and reading more. It's crazy some days I need to bring her toys out so she plays with them. I just want her to initiate that. I know she also likes playing with others. She may not like big groups but she loves one or two friends. She loves playing with her cousin and I even caught her showing Jace all her crayons and colors. Maybe it's a blessing Jace and Talia are close because I really do think they will play well as soon as he is walking. Are all kids really in to toys? Or do some kids like playing with other kids more?

I want to feel more productive. I want to be able to exercise and clean while my kids are up and I hope by working on some of these things I will feel like I can more. Sometimes I blame my house. I'm not sure what kind of house you live in but I live in a "doll" house as they call them. I love it but there are somethings I would fix or look for next time we get a house. Like more rooms/ common areas so I don't feel like we're all stuck in the same area the whole day. Also I would get a bigger back yard (not just a deck) so I could feel more comfortable putting the kids in the backyard while I stay inside and do somethings. In my defense we didn't think we'd be here this long so we thought we wouldn't be needing a backyard to play in.

Anyways I guess I just need to do it. Be productive, do what I need to do. That would give time for Talia to play on her own develop skills for independent play time. Also I need to leave time to play with my kids and do things with them. Lastly I should find someone (not family) who can be a person who can maybe take Talia once a week. Not sure if this one will happen but I would sure love it.

We all have our issues and sometimes it is hard as a parent because people look at you and think why does your child act this way and I guess what I need to and others need to accept is no body is perfect. I have great kids and a great life. I need to accept that not all house work may get done one day, Talia might play well one day and be needier the next, Jace may sleep well through the night one night and the next be up lots. I need to prioritize better, do what I can and not just sit there thinking about the stuff that needs to be done. If I know that I tried to do what I needed to do that day, then I just need to be happy with what I did that day.

Sometimes I think my frustration for Talia's separation anxiety and ability to not play on her own for long periods of time comes from my lack of accomplishments. I feel like I want to work more. I love my job. I don't want to work tons but a couple shifts a month.  Maybe getting a permanent sitter would help with that OR should my focus be my family and not me working? suggestions? Also I want to be better at working out. I have 20-25 pds to lose and it's hard work. I've lost 35-40 pds already but I need to make this last half a priority for my physical and mental health. Getting up in the night to feed a baby makes it hard when all you want to do is nap when you have time. Suggestions? Also I need to do better with reading scriptures. Maybe I am being hard on our situation. Talia is teething and she's sick. Who knows? there are many factors and I guess I just need to try my best, find time for myself and find time to be the mom I want to be.

I do love my life. I have a good family and I have really good kids. I just think if there is something I can do better that would help Talia with some things why not? I would appreciate any thoughts, comments, personal experience, and advice. Do all kids love playing with toys? Should every kid be able to play on their own? Do some kids like playing with other kids more?

Daddy daughter time

The dreaded power raking happened last night thanks to Jason. It's hard work but at least he had company - Talia! She loves the outside and her Dad so it was perfect. She's also so timid that she would never run or wonder anywhere without us which made it was easy to have her outside.

Hard work for Jason but fun Daddy daughter time for her and I think him. She kept him entertained by pointing to all him the "berds" and "pains".

Crayola!

Crayola's brought our family a lot of joy these past few months. It's occupied Talia's time thus allowing me to have some of my own time. Now that's it's nice we were able to "doulor" outside. This whole week is supposed to be nice so I think we'll be "douloring" a lot during the day and when schools out hopefully we'll make an appearance at the park! 

As soon as Jace had his "num nums" (blanky's) out Talia had to have hers. So she waited here while I got them. It was actually hot in the sun so she really didn't need them. He was just wrapped in them so he could fall asleep.

My precious boy.



 She is really particular with where the chalk goes and how it is lined up. Makes me laugh. It's funny how little kids can be so particular and border on being a bit obsessive compulsive at this age.

I just love her little face.

Yep here's her "num nums".  She is SO attached to it... well she actually has two but this one trumps the other one.

"Douloring."

This cracks me up every time. So when her hands are full or she doesn't want to pick up her num nums, she just bends down to smell it. Actually, I don't exactly know if she's smelling it or what. It's almost like a soother for her. See the below photo.

So this is how she falls asleep. She also carries it around all day and does this as well. She puts the blanky right under her nose and her mouth makes a "sucking soother" sound. It's like a major security blanket. I hope she never stops- it's just too cute.

Now that the weathers nice we're exciting to have more fun filled outings. So thank you crayola for jump starting our summer outside!

Mother's Day

This year I was truly spoiled. I've been begging Jason for a TV in our room since we got married and at first he really did not like the idea and finally he caved. Well I shouldn't say caved because Jason really wouldn't do something if he thought it was a bad idea but he saw my point. I grew up with parents having a TV in their room and I really do have great memories because of it.

All of us would get to stay in my parents bed when we were sick so we could eat and watch TV while getting better. My mom would always bring us lunch in her bed. I also remember on numerous occasions laying in bed watching TV while my mom folded clothes. Laundry isn't slowing down so it's nice to be able to watch TV and fold laundry at the same time.  I also remember my Mom and I watching tennis a lot or our favorite show- Rescue 911!!! I just want to be that mom for my kids. I loved cuddling with my parents and when my Dad was gone on business we would take turns sleeping in my parents bed with my mom. Often that entailed getting to watch TV late with her. I was always so jealous when it wasn't my turn. My mom was a great mom and that TV helped create memories with her ;). Now it's my turn to be that mom.

Here it is in all it's glory!

 If you haven't been to my house we don't have a nice TV. This is the first so I just love seeing how flat and beautiful it is. We do enjoy our Sony wega but it really is behind the times.

I honestly feel like a giddy girl when I see it or talk about it. Jason and I love sports (specifically tennis, basketball, golf, and even baseball) and a lot of them come on early in the morning. So I'm excited to spend that time with Jason watching our sports tournaments and laying in bed.

So Saturday night I went out with my mom, sisters, and Grandma to 'Little Women' the musical. I LOVE that movie and the musical did not disappoint. And when I came home Jason had the TV mounted and everything. He was able to watch the kids and get the TV up (with the help of my Dad) all in that time. It honestly was an awesome mothers day. I'm glad that I'm a mother- not just for my TV ;) but it's one of the greatest gifts I've been given. I love my kids and I love being a mom. I guess that's why family is central to the plan of happiness because it really is my greatest joy.

THANK YOU JASON!!!